Kiffin pretended to be Nu’Keese while texting

It’s funny that Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin brought up the issue of cell phone use. It seems ironic considering he did something strange — not a violation, but definitely odd — with Nu’Keese Richardson’s phone while Richardson was in Knoxville, Tenn., last weekend.

Kiffin and Richardson sat next to each other Saturday at Tennessee’s Thompson-Boling Arena for the Volunteers’ basketball game against Florida. When Pahokee coach Blaze Thompson texted Richardson to inquire about the trip, Kiffin was looking over Richardson’s shoulder to monitor the phone — no doubt spooked by Florida coach Urban Meyer’s earlier phone calls.

What he did next might be the strangest element of Richardson’s recruitment. Kiffin asked for the phone and began texting Thompson, pretending he was Richardson.

Thompson had sent a message to Richardson asking if he was enjoying the basketball game and his visit. He got the following response from Richardson’s phone, as he recalled it: “Yes. I love it. My decision is made.”

But Kiffin was the one punching keys.

Just bizarre, and it’s not like Kiffin is inexperienced with this whole college football recruiting thing. He coached at the college level for 9 years, including 6 under Pete Carroll. It makes you wonder what kind of stuff USC gets away with on the West Coast where SEC football die hards are not watching all the time.

Also, I didn’t think I would ever say this, but Kiffin’s missteps are also making Al Davis ridiculous press conference seem more credible. Kiffin is already showing quite a lack of judgment, and if he doesn’t simmer down, he might not last long in the SEC East.

Oh, and for you Bobby E, Layla Kiffin:  Yeah, I most definitely would but as you can see from one of our earlier posts, “Hot and Not“, for some reason hot girls seem to hang out with tools like Kiffin all the time.

“First, I laughed. I thought, ‘That’s insane, that’s impossible,’ ” the 45-year-old dad said. “And I immediately whipped out the calculator to see if it was humanly possible.”

He found it was – barely. It works out to 484 text messages a day, or one every two minutes of every waking hour.

“Then I thought maybe AT&T made some mistake on the bill,” said Hardesty, of Silverado Canyon.

The reporter for the Orange County Register grilled his daughter on her texting habit – by text message, of course.

“Who are you texting, anyway? Your entire school?” he asked.

“Well, a lot of my friends have unlimited texting. I just text them pretty much all the time,” she explained.

She messages a core of “four obsessive texters” – all girls between the ages of 12 and 13 – on her LG phone. Reina had a karaoke birthday party, and while other people were singing, she was texting her best friend sitting right next to her. She even texted her friends to brag about the high number of text messages she had logged when her parents got the statement. Her texting soared last month because “it was winter break and I was bored,” Reina told her parents. Luckily, Hardesty has a phone plan that allows unlimited texting for $30 a month. Otherwise, he estimates, he would have owed AT&T $2,905.60 at a rate of 20 cents per message.

The average number of monthly texts for a 13- to 17-year-old teen is 1,742, according to a Nielsen study of cellphone usage. Hardesty admits he himself punches in 900 messages a month – 700 more than average for his age group, according to Nielsen.

Hardesty and his ex-wife have since placed restrictions on Reina’s cellphone use, ruling she cannot text after dinner.

14,528 text messages, huh? 428 a day? Let’s say she pops z’s for six hours, which means she’s breathing and textin’ for 18. That is nearly 24 text messages an hour.  On average!  How is that even possible?  What is this girl doing?  Is she textin’ her ‘whole school’ everytime Hannah Montana comes out with another song that absolutely sucks? Does she text someone everytime Edgar Sosa takes a bad shot? Pops needs to step in and do something about this.  There is no way this girl can fully function. Aren’t her fingers sore? Who text karaokes anymore? Get a life. I know it’s harsh but play Wii or read Twilight…something. Just stay off of your phone for ten minutes.  Meanwhile, Pops is crushing 900 text messages a month.  This has to be the family from that Cingular commercial. I love granny, “IDK? My BFF Rose.”

Bobby E (1:29 a.m): F***** bullshiv

Mean Gene: What?

Bobby E (1:31): I’m f***** pissed F***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mean Gene: Why?

Bobby E (1:36): Why what the f***

Bobby E (1:36): What is this the five w’s?????

Mean Gene: who?what?when?where?why?

Bobby E (1:46): Why yali not on dance flor???

Mean Gene: Huh?

Bobby E (1:49): Dual yet you both app hold

Mean Gene: Uh, ok

Bobby E (1:52): Hes got onling

Bobby E (2:07) False negative??? these b****** are apesno

Mean Gene: what the hecks going on?

Bobby E (2:41): Do not do it telly item to nun do it f***** fuj

Bobby E (2:45): Are your nipples hard

Bobby E (2:46): Holy duck

Bobby E (2:48): Sat wants whate so what the f***

Bobby E (2:53): So mad!!!!!

Bobby E (2:57): It’s 3:6 3f*** in

Bobby E (3:27): Are t kidding me

Bobby E (3:28) F**** em

Bobby E (3:54) Oh dual

P.S. all times are CST, meaning in the K-Y all times were actually one hour later.

This just goes to show that tiny little buttons and blurry vision make for one entertaining evening/morning. So please, if you are not an avid texter, just try it whilst drinking and entertain someone like myself at your own expense.