SAY WHAT????

A couple of days ago (they all run together when you live hammered), I had a ‘Finkle is Einhorn’ moment only I needed not to suction my face with my plunger. I’m just wonderin’ why in the world there aren’t more colleges and universities out there with a monkey as its mascot… I mean monkeys are hilarious!!! You could have Orangutans, Baboons, Gorillas, Chimpanzes, Marmosets, Spider Monkeys, Wooly Monkeys, etc. Imagine the hilarity that would ensue betwix a roaming monkey and the kiddos at every home game!! (Look how beloved the Phoenix Suns’ Gorilla is…)

Anyhow, here’s a small sample of some of the mascots out there:

Anteaters (University of California-Irvine), Antelopes (Grand Canyon University in Phoenix AND University of Nebraska-Kearney), Banana Slugs (University of California-Santa Cruz), Boll Weevils (University of Arkansas-Monticello), Camels (Campbell University in Buies Creek, North Carolina), Cobbers (Concordia College in Moorhead, Minnesota), Ephs (Williams College in Williamstown, Massachusetts), Humpback Whales (University of Alaska-Southeast), Kangaroos (Austin College in Sherman, Texas AND University of Missouri-Kansas City), Koalas (Columbia College in South Carolina), Moose (University of Maine-Augusta), Nads (Rhode Island School of Design), Wasps (Emory and Henry College in Emory, Maryland).

Seriously, you tellin’ me out in Santa Cruz they’d rather be sportin’ hoodies w/ Banana Slugs on ‘em than a Baboon?? Come on. And the Nads of Rhode Island? Really? Do they chant “Go Nads!” at every each home game?  Boll Weevils? You WANT to be named after a beetle pest who ruins cotton harvests and Mrs. Rudy’s flower gardens?  Kangaroos and Koalas?  Why not have Crocodile Dundee as your mascot!!  Ephs?  What the Eph?!?!?!  Moose?  Shouldn’t they be the UM-A Meese?!!?  And Humpback Whales?  I’d love to hear their battle cry/chants!!

I Just Don't Get It!!

Monkeys are even fierce beasts, and one of the dominant species in all the jungle. Gorillas’ only enemies are humans, and occasionally leopards, no one else dares mess with them. There’s not an animal out there than can measure up pound-for-pound to the sheer strength of a Silverback Gorilla. Wouldn’t this be a good mascot to have? Hilarious and Powerful? Entertaining and Dangerous?

Then there’s a whole slew of schools out there who don’t even have a nickname or mascot!! Like the University of Sarasota (Florida), Allen College (Waterloo, Iowa), Bastyr University (Seattle, Washington), and Sage College of Albany (New York). Again, the Bastyr Baboons? Sarasota Spider Monkeys?? Sage College of Albany Apes???

Bastyr Baboons???

The only monkey mascot I could stumble upon was the Pittsburg State University Gorillas out of Pittsburg, Kansas. And due to such they are now in my Top Six favorite institutions of learning. If any of yall know of any more schools out there repped by monkeys, please let me know…

RESPECT & RECOGNIZE!!

Actually, the ‘splanation is quite simple. This was all part of rookie hazing done by the Phoenix Suns. Twas all in good fun and fortunately, Earl has not lost his mind.

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY ON CLARK’S SIGNING

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY ON T-WILL’S SIGNING

Much was said about O’Neal, Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson being reunited on the West Squad, but nobody expected this dramatic of a performance. Bryant and O’Neal appeared to kiss and make up as they were named Co-MVP’s of the game. Jackson appeared emotional as he watched the award ceremony from the bench.

“I think it is a great life lesson for people,” said West coach Phil Jackson, who led O’Neal and Bryant to their titles with the Lakers. “This is something that the people work together, people find a way to get through situations, find harmony in their life, find cohabitation.”

Bryant finished with a game-high 27 points and had this to say about O’Neal.

“We are not going to go back to the room and watch ‘Steel Magnolias’ or something like that, you know what I’m saying, crying, all that stuff,” Bryant said. “We had a good time. That’s all.”

When told that they (Bryant and O’Neal) both had joined Michael Jordan and Oscar Robertson as three-time All-Star MVP’s, the Diesel referred to himself and Kobe as, “The Big Legendaries”.

It is scary to think what these two could have accomplished if they both would have remained in Los Angeles. Check out Shaq’s dance with the Jabberwockees.

Career Record (4-4)

Career Record (3-2)