Posts Tagged “grandma”
Bored Chick Pranks Grandma
By: nickev | July 8th, 2009 | Category: WeirdCambridge, MN – A 21-year-old woman faces felony charges after allegedly prank-calling her 69-year-old grandmother 45 times in one day, threatening to kill her. The woman faces five felony counts including harassment. A criminal complaint said she told police she was “bored” and “wanted to have some fun.”
The woman and a 20-year-old friend, also facing charges, allegedly called the older woman on Feb. 5 and said “I’m gonna kill you,” “You’re going to die” and “I’m watching you.”
Police officers answered some calls for the grandmother and heard a female caller make threats.
The criminal complaint said the suspect told investigators she wanted to scare her grandmother but didn’t want her dead. She said she knew it was wrong but not illegal.
Courtesy of AOL Weird News
In all seriousness, who pranks their own grandma 45 times in one day? I’m all for prank calls, they are hilarious. But who pranks their own grandma and threatens to kill her? That is just messed up. It’s real messed up.
Granny’s Snorin’ is Kinda Hilarious
By: nickev | June 22nd, 2009 | Category: Hilariousness - VideosI really wish I was still poppin’ z’s and tasting my pillow right now and not at the work station. But, since your awake, check out granny’s snore action. It’s kinda funny.
SPLAIN IT!! Cops and Robbers
By: Dirk | April 28th, 2009 | Category: Splain It
Carlos Antonio founded the CSTDC (Center for Sexually Transmitted Disease Control) and was a highly respected man in the community. His life was going just as planned until one day he himself contracted a new STD strain from a barbarous sexual escapade in the Philippines, rightly named ‘Gonoherpesyphilis’.
The days of exploring his sinfully motivated concupiscence had ended. This aforementioned contraction ended his career with the CSTDC, and nearly cost him his life.
Carlos sold all of his worldy possessions and was forced to the streets where he became a dealer… of baseball cards. His fanaticism and outlandish knowledge of the game was beyond normal human comprehension.
But his life once again began to spiral downward when he un-expectantly became addicted to the freakishly stale gum within the packs of his precious baseball cards. He started prostituting for gum and even wielded a cardboard sign that read ‘I’ll put it in for fun, but I want some bubble gum’.
After breaking the short-lived habit, Carlos’ savviness had finally worked to his advantage and he had saved enough dough to remove himself from the streets.
Several years later after working various jobs, including but not limited to Pez dispenser sales, Carlos landed a gig as a small time reporter for Actual Life Magazine, which follows odd stories of real life people.
The photograph above is from Carlos’ first story. It pictures the winners of the 2007 Cops and Robbers: Tournament of Champions, Jesse “The Stealth” Jessles and his 87 year old grandmother Mildred Kocstarvd (aka: Filthy Wrinkles-as given to her by her traumatized, shaken competitors).
*Here is the interview with “The Stealth” and “Filthy Wrinkles” after their victory-(The interview was originally to be shown in a video, but due to the nearly incoherent yelling and incomprehensive sentence structure of Jesse and his grandmothers jumbled ramblings and inability to answer questions, we thought it best to capture the interview on paper).
Carl: “So Jesse, why do they call you “The Stealth”?
The Stealth: “WELL CARL I THINK ITS BECAUSE OF MY SMOOTH GLIDING STEATHINESS AND MY UNCANNY PERCEPTION OF THE HUMAN RACE AS A WHOLE AND MY FINGERLESS GLOVES KEEP ME PROTECTED FROM HARM WITHOUT LIMITING THE MOBILITY OF THE FINGERS THEMSELVES”
Carl: “Um, Alright then. Why did you choose your grandmother as a partner?”
The Stealth: “WELL CARL AGAIN I THINK ITS BECAUSE OF MY SMOOTH GLIDING STEALTHINESS AND MY UNCANNY PERCEPTION OF THE HUMAN RACE AS A WHOLE I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE HEARD BUT I’M QUITE STEALTHY BEING STEALTHY IS REALLY KEY IN ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS AS WELL AS THE PROTECTION AND MOBILITY OF MY FINGERS THIS ALSO PLAYS A ROLE”
Carl: “Um, okay. Can you show me some of your stealth-like moves”
(Carl is at this time shaken by Mildred, who is standing next to Jesse, winking and pointing her index finger and thumb at him shouting POW, POW!)
The Stealth: “THAT WOULD BE POINTLESS BECAUSE IM A STEALTH AND YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO SEE THEM THAT’S HOW STEALTHY I AM”
Carl: “Wow! Let’s move on to grandma. Filthy Wrinkles, how did you get that name?”
Filthy Wrinkles: “BEcausE hE’s STEAlthy!! djasjlkuteuineaF*%$”
Carl: “This concludes our interview for the day.”
This Girl is Nuts for Some Textin’
By: nickev | January 12th, 2009 | Category: WeirdOrange County, California – Greg Hardesty didn’t LOL when he got his teen daughter’s cellphone statement. All he could think was “OMG!” The California man’s 13-year-old daughter, Reina, racked up an astonishing 14,528 text messages in one month. The online AT&T statement ran 440 pages.
“First, I laughed. I thought, ‘That’s insane, that’s impossible,’ ” the 45-year-old dad said. “And I immediately whipped out the calculator to see if it was humanly possible.”
He found it was – barely. It works out to 484 text messages a day, or one every two minutes of every waking hour.
“Then I thought maybe AT&T made some mistake on the bill,” said Hardesty, of Silverado Canyon.
The reporter for the Orange County Register grilled his daughter on her texting habit – by text message, of course.
“Who are you texting, anyway? Your entire school?” he asked.
“Well, a lot of my friends have unlimited texting. I just text them pretty much all the time,” she explained.
She messages a core of “four obsessive texters” – all girls between the ages of 12 and 13 – on her LG phone. Reina had a karaoke birthday party, and while other people were singing, she was texting her best friend sitting right next to her. She even texted her friends to brag about the high number of text messages she had logged when her parents got the statement. Her texting soared last month because “it was winter break and I was bored,” Reina told her parents. Luckily, Hardesty has a phone plan that allows unlimited texting for $30 a month. Otherwise, he estimates, he would have owed AT&T $2,905.60 at a rate of 20 cents per message.
The average number of monthly texts for a 13- to 17-year-old teen is 1,742, according to a Nielsen study of cellphone usage. Hardesty admits he himself punches in 900 messages a month – 700 more than average for his age group, according to Nielsen.
Hardesty and his ex-wife have since placed restrictions on Reina’s cellphone use, ruling she cannot text after dinner.
14,528 text messages, huh? 428 a day? Let’s say she pops z’s for six hours, which means she’s breathing and textin’ for 18. That is nearly 24 text messages an hour. On average! How is that even possible? What is this girl doing? Is she textin’ her ‘whole school’ everytime Hannah Montana comes out with another song that absolutely sucks? Does she text someone everytime Edgar Sosa takes a bad shot? Pops needs to step in and do something about this. There is no way this girl can fully function. Aren’t her fingers sore? Who text karaokes anymore? Get a life. I know it’s harsh but play Wii or read Twilight…something. Just stay off of your phone for ten minutes. Meanwhile, Pops is crushing 900 text messages a month. This has to be the family from that Cingular commercial. I love granny, “IDK? My BFF Rose.”
Don’t Mess With Granny
By: nickev | November 12th, 2008 | Category: Hilariousness - Videos
Man honks his horn like six times and even revs his engine whilst granny is simply attempting to cross the street. ON THE CROSSWALK!! That is what the crosswalk is for. You can hear the man slamming his brakes before the camera switches over so he obviously almost hit granny. Get a life, there is no way your life is that important. Old people are hilarious.
