His wife, Judy, said Hetland is constantly cracking wise so she initially didn’t believe his contention that a bear had broken in.

For the full article courtesy of The Auburn Journal, click HERE. And check out Gus’ reenactment of his yelping below:

Career Record: 55-43-2
Foxy’s Balance: $185.45

Continuous Dysfunction Hits Cats (Rick Bozich, C-J)

Re-Visiting the wrong guy “one more time”  (John Clay, Herald-Leader)

Terrence Williams one of the best  (Eric Crawford, C-J)

Do people care about the AFL?  (Hugging Harold Reynolds)

Will Ferrell is Nate Robinson’s Muse  (Observation Bubble) 

Jennifer Jones is heating up the curling ranks  (TotalProSports)

BCS Powers Scheduling ‘Cupcakes’ Has Economic Impact  (MoonDog Sports)

Vanderkitten (what a name) is a female cycling team. According to cycleto.com, the details of crash are a bit sketchy. What is known is that Hatch hit the deck HARD, at a speed between 25 and 30 mph. The fork on her bike was sheared off, the back of her helmet was crushed, and at first glance, it looked like she was in big trouble.

However, doctors at Napa’s Queen of the Valley Medical Center ER say she has no broken bones, no concussion and the cuts and scrapes on her face and body are not deep and should heal without scarring.

To see more of Liz and read about her crashes, check her blog at http://www.lizhatch.missingsaddle.com/

I would have loved to be the doctor that got to examine her body for the aforementioned cuts and scrapes… and for some visual evidence of why Liz walking away unscathed is a good thing, aside from the fact she wasn’t seriously hurt: Liz Hatch…UH YUMP!!!

“First, I laughed. I thought, ‘That’s insane, that’s impossible,’ ” the 45-year-old dad said. “And I immediately whipped out the calculator to see if it was humanly possible.”

He found it was – barely. It works out to 484 text messages a day, or one every two minutes of every waking hour.

“Then I thought maybe AT&T made some mistake on the bill,” said Hardesty, of Silverado Canyon.

The reporter for the Orange County Register grilled his daughter on her texting habit – by text message, of course.

“Who are you texting, anyway? Your entire school?” he asked.

“Well, a lot of my friends have unlimited texting. I just text them pretty much all the time,” she explained.

She messages a core of “four obsessive texters” – all girls between the ages of 12 and 13 – on her LG phone. Reina had a karaoke birthday party, and while other people were singing, she was texting her best friend sitting right next to her. She even texted her friends to brag about the high number of text messages she had logged when her parents got the statement. Her texting soared last month because “it was winter break and I was bored,” Reina told her parents. Luckily, Hardesty has a phone plan that allows unlimited texting for $30 a month. Otherwise, he estimates, he would have owed AT&T $2,905.60 at a rate of 20 cents per message.

The average number of monthly texts for a 13- to 17-year-old teen is 1,742, according to a Nielsen study of cellphone usage. Hardesty admits he himself punches in 900 messages a month – 700 more than average for his age group, according to Nielsen.

Hardesty and his ex-wife have since placed restrictions on Reina’s cellphone use, ruling she cannot text after dinner.

14,528 text messages, huh? 428 a day? Let’s say she pops z’s for six hours, which means she’s breathing and textin’ for 18. That is nearly 24 text messages an hour.  On average!  How is that even possible?  What is this girl doing?  Is she textin’ her ‘whole school’ everytime Hannah Montana comes out with another song that absolutely sucks? Does she text someone everytime Edgar Sosa takes a bad shot? Pops needs to step in and do something about this.  There is no way this girl can fully function. Aren’t her fingers sore? Who text karaokes anymore? Get a life. I know it’s harsh but play Wii or read Twilight…something. Just stay off of your phone for ten minutes.  Meanwhile, Pops is crushing 900 text messages a month.  This has to be the family from that Cingular commercial. I love granny, “IDK? My BFF Rose.”