Who Dey Gonna Beat Dem Bengals! Part One

With the NFL season starting this week, now would be a good time to look over the Bengals upcoming schedule and give you my expert opinion on what their record will be.  Last year, nobody picked them to make the playoffs.  Yet, not only did they make the playoffs, they won the AFC North division with a 10-6 record.  Will we see a repeat? Lets take a look at the schedule.

Week One:  Bengals start the year on the road at Gillette Stadium, playing the always tough New England Patriots.  On paper this game looks like it will be close, but I will have to give the edge to the Pats, since it is at their place. 0-1.

Week Two:  Home opener against Baltimore.  Thanks Roger Goodell for giving the Bengals such an easy start to their season. The Ravens’ defense is always physical, and their offense did add Anquan Boldin, which should give them a boost. This game could come down to who has the ball last.  I’m picking the Bengals in this one. 1-1.

Week Three:  Traveling to take on the Carolina Panthers, who went 8-8 last season.  Going with the Bengals to win because I don’t think the Panthers are good. 2-1.

Week Four:  Going to Cleveland, must be tough to be a Cleveland sports fan.  Who is the face of your city now that Lebron is gone? It could have been Brady Quinn, but you guys sent him to Denver.  I’m sure he is hating that amazing city. Back to the game, I cant see the Browns winning.  Probably Jake Delhomme will be the starting QB, but who really knows, its the Browns, they suck.  They could also throw Colt Mccoy out there to get destroyed. Bengals take it. 3-1.

Week Five:  Back at home to play the Tampa Bay Bucs.  Lets just put it this way, if the Bengals lose, I will cut my hair into a mullet.  Bengals go into the bye week with another win. 4-1.

Week Seven:  Coming off the bye week, the Bengals will face the Atlanta Falcons at the Georgia Dome.  A lot of the time teams are rusty following their bye week, lets hope this is not the case with the Bengals.  I think they will win, but it will be a nail-biter. 5-1.

Week Eight: Bengals vs. Miami Dolphins at Paul Brown Stadium.  Bengals keep on rolling to their Monday Night Football matchup against the team with the worst fans ever, the Pittsburgh Steelers. After destroying the Fish Mammals, Bengals will be 6-1 heading into the second half of the season.

Part Two will recap the rest of the schedule, weeks 9-17. The first two games will not be easy.  I will be very happy if the Bengals are 1-1 after week two, but I will not be shocked if they start the season 0-2.  After playing two very tough teams, the Bengals are rewarded with a pretty cake schedule from weeks 3 to 8.  Only one of those teams had a winning record last year, the Falcons.  Unfortunately for the Bengals, the second half of the schedule will be no walk in the park.