New Rookie Hazing Techniques for Dez Bryant

Bryant did not have this big of a smile on his face when asked to lug around shoulder pads.

Dallas Cowboys rookie Dez Bryant has made more headlines lately than just being the initial first round pick to sign. This past week, Bryant tried to act like he wasn’t a rookie bi-otch by saying he would not carry the shoulder pads of older Cowboys’ receiver Roy Williams. After Williams’ performance last year, who could blame him?

Bryant was deemed a character risk by some coming out of Okie State, but it remains to be seen whether this situation is much ado about nothing, or the tip of the iceberg for another prima donna receiver. Whatever happened to the days of fraternity style hazing in training camps? Nothing like bringing a young, rich kid down to earth with some humiliating activities. Some of the Cowboys’ veterans should try the following tactics with Bryant:

Shotgun beers in dining hall
We all know Bryant is a freak physical specimen, but he can he take down a six-pack in a matter of minutes? I’m sure some of the Dallas offensive linemen could lend him a hand.

Jason Witten beat down
Back when Witten was a Tennessee Volunteer, he didn’t need 15 of his teammates to beat down a random dude, a la the 2010 team. He just dished out some southern justice on his own. After he supposedly came close to ripping out TO’s wind pipe a few years ago, Witten will probably have no problem showing Bryant what’s up if the rookie steps out of line.

Witten is apt go upside Bryant's head if the rook tries to get square on a teammate.

Propose to a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader
Hopefully, Bryant learned some of Deion Sanders’ womanizing methods when they hung out last year, visits that wound up costing Bryant his college eligibility. We’ll see if Bryant can run any game like he runs a crossing route.

Spray Pam on Bryant’s receiver gloves
Bryant made some phenomenal catches with the orange-clad Cowboys over the last few years, but a solid rookie prank would be to see if he can still catch with the slippery stuff all over his Nike gloves.

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