Tim Sypher Loves Him Some Rick Pitino Leftovers

Sypher thought sloppy seconds would mean a promotion. Instead it got him a marriage.

On Wednesday, we learned that our good friend Ricky Three Bills wasn’t much for endurance during his sexual escapades. During Thursday’s cross examination, we learned that Pitino may have left the Porcini’s cleaning crew a present due to his lack of contraception. That’s what he gets for going out unprepared!

Per Pitino’s testimony on Thursday, via Kentucky Sports Radio: The Attorney then asked how Sypher could have become pregnant if he did not ejaculate and he said, “I did, down my leg.”

After Pitino’s 15 seconds of adulterous bliss, he simply left a trail that may have stained his Armani slacks? Rick’s performance as a philanderer is almost as disappointing as that loss to California in last year’s NCAA tournament.

After Slick Rick had completely humiliated himself, Pitino chrony and former UofL equipment manager Tim Sypher took the stand. It was Sypher, who was already a UofL employee, that took Karen Cunagin to her Pitino-financed abortion in Cincinnati. Apparently, there was love in the air on the way up I-71, as a week later, the two strangers consummated their relationship, and sometime later, were married. Here are a few great tidbits from Sypher’s time on the stand, according to Kentucky Sports Radio:

He testified that they ended up holding hands while they were waiting for the procedure.

- This just proves that many great love stories have began in an abortion clinic.

Over the next few days, a phone romance emerged and when Tim returned, they went on a date. He said he went to her house and “things skyrocketed there” and they ended up having sex, one week after the abortion in Cincinnati. They then began dating and got serious quickly, with Tim stopping dating two women he was seeing at the time.

- Tim was a player, but Karen made him quit all that… Is a woman still sore a week after an abortion?

Sypher said the marraige went great for a while until Karen fell off the deep end. Now, it seems to most involved that she has been officially diagnosed as bat shit crazy. Read Sypher’s testimony here. He even asked for Pitino’s approval to date her.

‘Hey boss, you know that broad you randomly knocked up awhile back at that restaurant? I want me some of that.’ It’s just like a little she-devil who works her way through a college fraternity.

This just keeps getting better and better. A dude called the Turkey Hunter at KSR has a hilarious commentary on the chain of events thus far. I have no idea if the Cards basketball team will any good next year, but road games for UofL should be worth watching purely for the signs and chants that will be coming from the student sections.

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