Spoiler Alert: How to deal

I have recently seen a lot of non-traditonal sports fans complaining about finding out results of the Olympics before the tape delayed action appears hours (yes 5-10 hrs!) after the live events. Not always being able to watch a sporting event live has been an issue that many regular sports fans have dealt with for a long time. For multiple reasons, throughout the years, someone has planned a dinner with the in-laws during your favorite teams basketball game or some goofball scheduled a school event on a saturday afternoon during your favorite schools football game.

With the advent of the VHS, and today the DVR, we have been able to tape delay our favorite events, we would have other wise missed. After being blessed with these technological revolutions, we then had to learn how to NOT find out the results. So, I have decided that I would share these amazing secrets to allow everyone to enjoy a televised sporting event at their own leisure.

First let’s take look at how to avoid people telling you in person:
Before any conversation with a new person begin by saying, “I’ve recorded _____ so if you know, please don’t tell me.” This is a very simple method that let’s the person know not to ruin your day. You may also go with the tried and true method of not talking to people. This method would actually save you a lot of headache throughout any day. Can you imagine never having to listen to somebody’s ridiculous story about how their trashy life is a mess and they can’t figure out why their bad decisions keep bringing more problems…sure that guy who with 3 kids with 3 different women and no job will change! Tell them to save it for this guy, because he really cares.

Next Problem is the TV:
This takes varying degrees of talent depending on the size of the event. If it’s a local sports team avoid local channels all together. Also, in todays world, avoid all sports channels because the crawls will get you every time. Now, if its a national event then you probably shouldn’t watch any tv, because at anytime other than on Lifetime, someone could break in with the results. Of course, Lifetime should have a good movie about that time of the month, ice cream, and a cheating man. So I guess you could curl up on the couch if you are not ready to watch your essential sporting event and indulge in some made for tv cinema magic.

Internet, Facebook, and Twitter
The internet is much like tv, in that, the size of the event will require you to avoid certain sites. If it’s a standard regular season game of a local team then just stay off the sports sites. If it’s a national event then stay off the internet. Of course, everyone wants to know, “How will I live without facebook for multiple hours in row?” Many non-traditional sports fans who have little or no experience with avoiding results will find this most difficult to cope with. I know what you are thinking, Facebook is about posting your kid saying something hilarious or that you hate mondays and “is it friday yet” because it’s so funny! Your 432 electronic friends need to know this stuff. This is very tricky for many people, and look I get it. I too want to know if that person I met at church camp in 1993 is going to like Applebees Any Time Appetizers. I mean, enough already and tell us Steve, you are so interesting with your relationship status of “It’s Complicated” and hourly tough life status updates.

Twitter is even more difficult to deal with. I mean, COME ON TWEEPS. You act like twitter was created for people to give instant 140 character updates without all the pictures and dumb stuff. It’s not at all amazing for sports updates with it’s immediate information from people you chose to follow. Seriously Pat Forde, why would a nationally prominent sports writer who is being paid to attend an event be tweeting out results of said event to people who did not choose to follow you?

I hope this has helped everyone on how to deal with the tape delay sporting events in their life. It’s not easy in today’s world to avoid information but these tips will help you make it and avoid that spoiler.

Tags: facebook, How to Avoid, pat forde, SPolier Alert, twitter

Category: Humor