SPLAIN IT!! Markets And Memories

Old college roomies, Cecil and Jamar, hadn’t seen each other in years. They crossed paths one day at the market and decided to get together for some much needed ‘man’ time.

Their conversation began by filling each other in on the years they had been apart. Cecil began explicating his feathery past in which he struggled with a stifling seed addiction and a soiled affair with Trips, a local dairy cow that lost her leg in a ban saw incident while trying to make Cecil a bird house. A leg wasn’t all Trips lost, her life had soon followed and tears began to ripple down Cecil’s beak in remembrance.

Jamar slowly leaned over with a look of sorrow racing from his troubled eyes and sssslapped the squirrel-bitch tears from Cecil’s face. He proceeded to make fun of him, quite racistly, until Cecil came to his senses.

Sometime later they began laughing and reminiscing about the old college days of premature ejaculation and pregnancy scares.

Jamar: (laughing drunkily) Remember Cross-eyed Cristy with the curly hair from 301? I swear one of her eyes popped out of her face when you were railing her on the top bunk.

Cecil: -falls out of his chair in laughter-ROFL

Jamar: For real dude. There I was. All sleepin’ peaceful and shit and then I hear her musty breath muttering some demon language about you, her and a dog. I just kinda chuckled at first but she was a hefty girl and I thought y’all were gonna Tommy Boy my skinny ass on the bottom bunk.

Cecil: hahaha..LOL. (no conceivable words)

Jamar: Then all of a sudden I pull the sheets off my face-cuz I was stoned and dutch oven’d myself- I heard a pop and her eyeball was hanging there, staring at me, just swinging back and forth like a lonely testicle (more laughter).

Cecil: (wiping tears from his eyes) I bet she’s still itching from the army of crabs I gave her.

And that’s when it happened! Jamar spewed his newly sipped vodka-goat milk all over Cecil’s unsuspecting face in a final fit of laughter.