SPLAIN IT!! Manitude
Dirk | May 07, 2009 | Comments 13
My name’s Cliff. You wanna mess with me? Look what I just did to that truck. Totally threw it into that tree. Keep staring, big guy, I’ll punch your teeth right down your throat. I’ll do it, look at my pecs. Touch one, feel how solid that baby is.
Check out these boots. They’re heavy. Real heavy. Don’t slow me down none, though. I can probably walk faster than you can run. I wear these bad boys, and chicks dig ‘em. Know why? Cause they’re heavy, and when you see me stomp a mud hole, you’ll know why.
Yeah, these are Wranglers. Pretty nice, huh? Brett Favray wears them cause I do. He’s such a poser. I invented Wranglers. I’m that tough. How tough? Real tough. Tough enough to wear this flannel shirt.
This shirt smells musky like me. I’m a man. That’s what I smell like. It used to fit, but I pulled my shoulders back. Tore that sucker right open. That’s tough. Look at my square jaw line. Chiseled from stone. Ever see angles like that before? That’s a man chin. Don’t cut yourself when you touch it. You know you want to.
Long story short, I’m going bowling. You can’t come, it’s league night. Knocking down some pins and beers. That’s what men do. Yeah! Check me out as I walk away. Tough looking, huh? I’m a man. Deal with it.
Filed Under: Splain It
Comments (13)
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Best.
Splain It.
Ever.
idk, i’m a huuuge proponent of Bag Child, Timmy Tackler and Masters of Mayhem…
THIS 1 CAN”T BE TOPPED!!!
Father Abraham, had many sons, and many sons had faaaather abraham. i am one of them, and so are you……….DIRKY KNOW WHAT I’M TALKIN BOUT
and i believe mulleted dog owner is the best..
square jaw lines are manly.
Dirk’s mother has quite the square jaw line…I ain’t sayin’ she’s manly though, George S. said that.
I agree, this is the best Splain It yet. Well done
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