SPLAIN IT!! Lazy Children

Consumer Contact:
Dirk Nowitzki
618-555-1212

For Immediate Release – Mexico, MO – July 30, 2009 – Flamboyant Fun announced today that it is initiating a voluntary recall of all lots of the company’s child storage device sold under the following names: Hang-A-Baby, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Instant Babysitter, and Daddy-In-A-Box.

The company has received 352 reports of injuries reported from consumers using their product. The child suspension device can be improperly installed, leading to contusions, escaping children, creepiness, and redneck laughter.

The product is sold as a roll of gray adhesive (one-sided) material, advertised as “The Perfect Solution When You Want to Get Drunk!”, and “Works Best in Our Patented Soundproof Box!”. The product is designed to be adhered to walls, cabinets, or other vertical surfaces.

Incidents reported range from falling babies, collapsing walls, and dirty diapers. Customers who have this product in their possession may return it to the store where it was purchased, or you can always take it back to Wal-Mart. You can pretty much return any of your old crap there.

You might want to hang onto your sales receipt, since there’s a good chance you can sue our asses. Flamboyant Fun, LLC. Is committed to providing average to poor quality products at inflated prices from the costs associated with the Chinese manufacturing. Oh yeah, that reminds me, there’s a good chance you have lead poisoning if you touch this stuff.