Some signs you might need a girlfriend and how to get one

Here’s a little timeline of my day today.
4:47pm: Got home from work.
4:50-5:45pm: Cut the grass.
5:45-6:00pm: Reminisced about Gobots (the original Transformers) with my neighbor.
6:00-7:00pm: Did some work and research for The Pinkie.
7:00-9:40pm: Watched the patheticness that is the Chicago Cubs.
9:41pm: Realized I hadn’t ate yet.
9:42-10:12pm: Finished watching the Cubs.
10:12-10:23pm: Watched re-run ep of How I Met Your Mother.
10:39pm: Finally got off the couch to open a fridge that I knew was empty.
10:42pm: Microwaved a 6-month old frozen Steak&Cheese José Olé Chimichanga.
10:42-10:48pm: Ate aforementioned burrito while watching WWE’s Raw.
10:49pm: Realized I need a girl.

If your life isn’t as pathetic as mine but you’re looking for some tell tale signs you too may need a girl, here’s some help on figuring out if you need a girlfriend and some tips on how to make that happen:

FIRST FIGURE OUT IF YOU NEED A GIRLFRIEND
1. Ten Signs You’ve Been Single Too Long (Fox News)

2. Take The “Do You Need A Girlfriend?” Test (Hunch)

3. If you relate to this picture then yeah, you need one. (Buzzfeed)

4. If you’re THIS GUY, definitely keep reading.

NOW GO GET YOURSELF A GIRL
5. How To Get A Girlfriend If You’re A Hopeless Nerd (Video Jug)

6. Seven Tips On How To Get A Girlfriend (Dating Dynamics)

7. If none of this works, finish this where you probably should have started it: by taking Cliff’s advice on How To Pick Up A Woman.