Pop Tarts go to College

Pop Tarts parent company Kellogg’s announced this week that they will unveil college logoed treats this fall. Forget Wheaties boxes. That was so 1990s. Pop Tarts have taken over cereal boxes in the cool athletics collectibles category, and has also amped up trash talk in the Internet age.

Twitter exploded with the news this week, and predictably, there is a ton of good one liners for each and every school in D-1, here are some of the highlights.

North Carolina: players say its the perfect fake breakfast for those early morning pretend classes
Texas A&M:  almost get done cooking, then they fold and burst into flames in the toaster
USC: only come with one in the package, the other Pop Tart is on probation
LSU: Honey Badger ate all the LSU Pop Tarts
Texas: Texas Pop Tarts have all the ingredients in the world but never seem to get to the end of breakfast.
Colorado: are perfect for the munchies, if they can remember where they put them
Baylor: Baylor Pop Tarts were sugar free until 1997
West Virginia: come in moonshine flavor, and are best toasted on a burning couch
Ohio State: Have the frosting tattooed on them
Alabama: Have houndstooth frosting
Kansas: Doesn’t have any Pop Tarts, Charlies Weis ate them all
Indiana: Pop Tarts taste better after football season is over
Tennessee: Tyler Bray threw the new Tennessee pop-tarts at a parked car.
Miami: NCAA Rules University of MiamiPop-Tarts Inedible
Boise State: Boise St Pop Tarts are not sanctioned by Kellogg’s and only appear at outlet stores
Oregon: Oregon Pop Tarts glow in the dark
Notre Dame: Notre Dame fans reminisce about how much better Pop Tarts were in 1988
BYU: Putting Pop Tarts in the toaster is an Honor Code violation
Auburn: Auburn’s Pop Tarts cost $180,000, but some of them may get poisoned by Bama fans

and finally, the local side…

Louisville: Louisville Pop Tarts only last about 15 seconds before you need to pull them out of the toaster
Kentucky: As much as we all enjoy Kentucky’s Pop-Tarts it’s only a matter of time before breakfast has been vacated

Category: Humor