Snot: you in jersey?
Dirk: Nope. Next Tuesday through thurs. just got back yesterday. I’m going camping with the K-Dogg tonight.
Snot: Oh ok. was gonna see what you were up to tonight but nevermind.
Dirk: I’m a busy fool. Maybe next weekend.
Snot: I’ll think about it. I’m probably busy with other stuff, like handling fire, finding lost artifacts and hunting endangered animals for their pelts. Ya know, normal manly stuff.
Dirk: I do have a Saturday morning bear wrasslin’ tournament and a wet tshirt contest to judge, but otherwise I’m free.
Snot: That’s cool. I’ll be free after my swim lesson; I’m teaching a school of fish how to manuever through the ocean swiftly yet causiously. Also breaking a pterodactyl into obedience for ridin’. No big deal.
Dirk: I dunno, though. Chuck Norris keeps calling me to hang out. I may swing by his place- he keeps begging me to come so he can prove to Stallone that he knows me. Maybe I’ll make an apperance so he stops bugging me
Snot: Oh ok. Maybe Saturday night then. I’ve got dinner reservations with longtime friend/hero, Optimus Prime. He’s a lil upset that i passed him in social network friends but he needs my help and strong hands to defeat Gigantron. I’m sure you haven’t heard of him. It’s a classified Autobot secret.
Dirk: Heard of him? I created Gigantron. Good luck beating him, hes effing indestructible. Belieeeeeeeve dat!
Snot: Highly impossible.
Dirk: Wait until he opens fire with his Armageddon Beam. Game. Over.
Snot: Did you get ‘Armageddon Beam’ from your mother? That’s what she calls my wiener. When I pleasure her. In multiples…….of 10.
Dirk: That’s the only way she likes to be pleasured. To be fair, though, she’s just using you. Because you’re a slut.
Snot: Pshh. Everyone knows only girls are sluts. It’s in their DNA, along with bitch and crazy. It’s science.