straitpinkie.com
SPLAIN IT!! Manitude | straitpinkie.com

SPLAIN IT!! Manitude

By: Dirk | May 7th, 2009 | Category: Splain It

manitude

My name’s Cliff. You wanna mess with me? Look what I just did to that truck. Totally threw it into that tree. Keep staring, big guy, I’ll punch your teeth right down your throat. I’ll do it, look at my pecs. Touch one, feel how solid that baby is.

Check out these boots. They’re heavy. Real heavy. Don’t slow me down none, though. I can probably walk faster than you can run. I wear these bad boys, and chicks dig ‘em. Know why? Cause they’re heavy, and when you see me stomp a mud hole, you’ll know why.

Yeah, these are Wranglers. Pretty nice, huh? Brett Favray wears them cause I do. He’s such a poser. I invented Wranglers. I’m that tough. How tough? Real tough. Tough enough to wear this flannel shirt.

This shirt smells musky like me. I’m a man. That’s what I smell like. It used to fit, but I pulled my shoulders back. Tore that sucker right open. That’s tough. Look at my square jaw line. Chiseled from stone. Ever see angles like that before? That’s a man chin. Don’t cut yourself when you touch it. You know you want to.

Long story short, I’m going bowling. You can’t come, it’s league night. Knocking down some pins and beers. That’s what men do. Yeah! Check me out as I walk away. Tough looking, huh? I’m a man. Deal with it.

13 Responses to “SPLAIN IT!! Manitude”

  1. by Dirk on May 7th, 2009 12:18 pm

    Best.
    Splain It.
    Ever.

  2. by Carl H on May 7th, 2009 12:24 pm

    idk, i’m a huuuge proponent of Bag Child, Timmy Tackler and Masters of Mayhem…

  3. by Father Abraham on May 7th, 2009 12:40 pm

    THIS 1 CAN”T BE TOPPED!!!

  4. by Snotty P on May 7th, 2009 12:55 pm

    Father Abraham, had many sons, and many sons had faaaather abraham. i am one of them, and so are you……….DIRKY KNOW WHAT I’M TALKIN BOUT

    and i believe mulleted dog owner is the best..

  5. by George S. on May 7th, 2009 1:06 pm

    square jaw lines are manly.

  6. by Snotty P on May 7th, 2009 1:13 pm

    Dirk’s mother has quite the square jaw line…I ain’t sayin’ she’s manly though, George S. said that.

  7. by The Thrill on May 8th, 2009 11:07 am

    I agree, this is the best Splain It yet. Well done

  8. by 9-to-Fried » Blog Archive » Oaky Afterbirth for May 12th on May 12th, 2009 1:56 pm

    [...] Explain this pic (Strait Pinkie) [...]

  9. by The Beer Goggler | Sometimes, All It Takes Is One More Drink... on May 14th, 2009 10:09 pm

    [...] SPLAIN IT!! Manitude (Straite Pinkie) [...]

  10. by Debut of “How To:” every Manday on June 15th, 2009 10:29 am

    [...] here. You may remember me from Splain It fame. I’m a man. There’s a good chance you envy my manness. Go on and drink it in. I’m here to [...]

  11. by How To: Lightning Round | straitpinkie.com on November 9th, 2009 11:42 am

    [...] here. Despite my sound advice, I still am amazed at the sheer lack of manitude in today’s world. In an effort to address areas where I continue to observe a vaccum of [...]

  12. by How To: Decorate a Christmas Tree | straitpinkie.com on December 23rd, 2009 11:31 pm

    [...] decided that a tree is in order for the holidays, consider this your chance to express your true manitude. Decorating anything is inherently feminine, but the birth of the most famous man in history and [...]

  13. by How To: Be a Snake Charmer | straitpinkie.com on January 11th, 2010 11:03 am

    [...] the human females. You need a more comprehensive approach to destroying their resistance to your manitude. Start slow, but you’ll basically be walking through your own system for lashing your own [...]

Leave a Reply