Stanley was a big kid. His mother had always supported him, constantly reminding him that his size was proof he was special. Stanley WAS special. At seven feet tall, and made out of plastic, Stanley excelled at sports. Though he had never met his father, his mother told Stanley his father’s name was Clifford, and he was also exceptionally sized.

One lonely night in ’87, Clifford and his favorite chew toy spent a wild night of passion together. Nine months later, Stanley was born. As she birthed the young boy through her squeak hole and cussed Clifford for leaving her all alone, she knew Stanley would grow up to be something special. Special and huge.

As he grew into a fatherless monster toy, Stanley always felt as if something was missing. He decided to find his deadbeat dad. Ignoring his mother’s high pitched, pleading squeaks Stanley struck out to find the father he’d never known. His mother stayed at home and wept, all the while cursing that filthy home wrecker, Emily Elizabeth.

Stanley did not know where to find his father, but his genial nature and wounded spirit made others want to help the young man on his quest. Surviving on the kindness of strangers, he made his way to Hollywood. Documenting the epic journey was Stanley’s best and only friend Cletus the Sock Monkey. After finding his absentee father, who turned out to actually be a Big Red Dog, Stanley confronted him with his truancy. Clifford was devastated, saying he never knew. Stanley and his father embraced, ending this story on a high note. Their oversized newfound happiness destroyed three buildings in Beverly Hills.

Pushing his son into the family show business, Clifford acted as yet another freakishly controlling parent/manager in Hollywood. He began by selling the rights for the heroic story to Lifetime for yet another lame, made-for-TV movie. Shown is a promotional picture snapped by Cletus the Sock Monkey as Stanley perches gracefully atop a small car, and asks an elderly couple for directions to I-10 in his marathon search for his father. The old man reportedly died of heart failure immediately, and the woman directed him to the interstate from the ground where she had fallen and broken her hip.