Smooth. Refreshing. Delicious.

These words do not at all describe the new soft drink from KittyLitter Inc. Fattening, chunky, and fuzzy more accurately portray the appropriately named “Kit-Tea”. Mildly alcoholic (92% alcohol by volume) with a kick of energy, Kit-Tea goes down smooth.

Drinkability be damned! We have achieved the ultimate in cuteability, mixed it with the softest fur available, and twisted in a pinch of rage. The next great advancement in liquid-ish science, the possibilities are endless.

Serve over ice for crunchy fun. Blend smooth to impress your serial killer friends, or (as shown above) pour neat with a tiny bit of head for the maximum enjoyabilityness. Whether here, there, or anywhere (does not include China, India, Atlantis, and your mother’s house), attempt to swallow a nice warm glass of Kit-Tea to help with sleeplessness, anger, or marital hilarity.

Pick one up at your local tavern. Unless they don’t carry it, since dang hippies can’t wrap their heads around how innovative this idea is. Don’t hold me down with your 14th century philosophies.