Snap-fist is flat out BAD ASS. No one doubts it. NO ONE. He is f-ing Hard! Someone once took a picture of ‘hard’. When they developed the picture it was Snap-fist giving them the finger (HE WASN’T EVEN THERE). Now that’s hard. Years of crisp, flawless life and bloody knuckles proves his pure dominance. Punching here, kicking there and drinking everywhere. What. A. Life.

When Little Snap-fist developed testicular cancer. He ate it. That right. He ate the cancer. He neutered himself and ate his nuts with a beer. That’s bad ass. How bad ass? He doesn’t even bleed! He once punched himself in the face just to see what being hit felt like. Truth or dare? He can only answer truth, he’s already done everything!

Back flip? No problem. Front flip? Done. If you ask him a question, he answered it yesterday. Why does he wear gloves? People die! Why does he wear headgear? People die! He once head butted a hen.

Besides eminent death, it laid 37 eggs! He ate them. ALL! Why does he wear a gi? His wiener would drag the ground. Ouch. Nobody wants a lacerated wiener, not even Snap-fist.

He’s been married 3 times. First wife? Dead. Second? Dead. Third? Missing. Does he have any children? One. He gave birth to himself! That’s BAD ASS. He once knocked a guy out for looking at him funny; Dude was blind. He once kicked the fat right off a chick so he could bang her; He doesn’t do fatties.

Snap-fist doesn’t dream. He is one.