Chubbs Charleston
February 6th, 2008
Diary entry #3,343

Today my heart is filled with infinite sadness. A picture of me was taken by a bunch of ridiculing bus riders, I have no arms, my girlfriend just broke up with me, my herpes is flared and my a$$hole roommate, Steve, ate the last of the Pringles and put the empty can back in the cabinet…dick. I was hungry and looking forward to my damn Pringles. Why the hell would he eat my delicious salty Pringles? I don’t think he cares about my feelings.

Tonight was cock fighting night down at Steve’s uncle’s friend’s basement. I wasn’t going to go but I was hungry and knew there would be some sweet snacks, like Chex-mix and mini weinies. Plus, Steve’s Uncle’s friend’s wife is hot. She continually avoids me, however, I don’t blame her but it’s hard to hide an erection with no hands. Damn wind pants.

After the thought of a full belly, I was burning with excitement (well, that and my herpefied penis) to watch my two prized cock’s, ‘Comb Getcha Some’ and ‘Spur of the Moment’, bring home victories and some much needed cash for an arm or two and for my valtrex medication (arms aren’t cheap). I never even got a chance to fight and I left empty handed (story of my life).

I definitely wouldn’t have gone if I would have known my ex-girlfriend Trudy would have been there with her 3rd cousins whore friend Sally and her bastard child, Johan, who pulls his GI-Joe’s apart, then cries when the rubber band in the middle breaks. Pussy. Then there is her soon to also be, whore daughter, Delilah, who reenacts what she sees her mom Sally do by making Barbie and Ken get it on in the living room scattered with empty bottles of booze and a camera crew–then she asks me why the hell Ken doesn’t have a penis? What is DVDA? And why does mommy say she can’t have more kids now that she is strictly anal? F****** Steve! All I wanted was my Pringles!!!