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There. Is. No. Way!!! Top 13 Hot Girl With Ugly Guy Couples


There is no way!!! A phrase uttered by us all upon seeing the gigantic douchebag/ratface that a ridiculously hot girl is for some reason (see $$$ in 99.8 % of all cases) with. We have pontificated this topic several times here on the Pinkie, see our ‘This Does This – Explain It?‘ and ‘Hot and Not‘ posts. There is even an entire website dedicated to hot chicks with douchebags. That would be the cleverly named, hotchickswithdouchebags.com.

Well whilst watching former Yump Kaley Cuoco tonight on the awesome show, Chuck Lorre and CBS’ Big Bang Theory, I was once again forced to believe she was ever interested in her across the hall neighbor, Leonard aka David from Roseanne fame.


I guess it must be possible, how else could you explain this list of the Top 13 Hot Girls With Ugly Guys??

13. Beyonce + Jay-Z – Nasir Jones pretty much summed this one up with his description of the Jigga man on the diss track “Ether”:
“What you think, you getting girls now ’cause of your looks?
Ne-gro please
You no mustache having, with whiskers like a rat
Compared to Beans you wack.”


12. Julia Roberts + Lyle Lovett – David Letterman’s All-Time number one hooked up with a man actually uglier than him, which has to give him some hope. This one kind of makes sense to me, they both have horse faces.


11. Pamela Anderson + Kid Rock – Given, Pam is pretty screwed up and obviously has her type down, but for cryin’ out loud, it’s Robert James Ritchie!!!

kid rock pam andersn

10. Shania Twain + Mutt Lange – Shania Twain is Sssssssmokin’ hot. Mutt Lange, well his real name is Robert John Lange… the nickname “Mutt” ain’t a coincidence.

shania twain mutt lange

9. Marilyn Monroe + Joe DiMaggio and Arthur Miller – Possibly the greatest sex icon in American History chose two of the ugliest mofos ever as her second and third husbands, respectively. I kinda understand Joe, he was the Yankee Clipper… but big Art Miller? He was a friggin’ playwright!!

marilyn monroe joe dimaggiomarilyn monroe arthur miller

8. Olivia Wilde and Padma Lakshimi + Salman Rushdie – This one should probably be a little higher based on looks differential alone, but I gotta give some props to my man Salman. I mean (1) who the hell are you? and (2) what the hell did you do to get loaded rich/famous to be able to pull this caliber of broads?

salman rushdie olivia wildesalman rushdie padma-lakshmi

7. Mila Kunis + Maccaulay Culkin – Kevin McCallister has somehow, someway pulled Jackie Burkhart. I just don’t understand. Here, courtesy of Wikipedia, is where Maccaulay’s career is at today: On August 17, 2009, Culkin made a brief cameo appearance on WWE RAW at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Missouri, following a “falls count anywhere” match between Hornswoggle and Chavo Guerrero in which Guerrero was defeated by the classic Home Alone gag of rigging a swinging paint can to hit him upon opening a door. Culkin appeared in the doorway and said, “That’s not funny.”


6. Kate Hudson + Chris Robinson – Apparently ladies love rock stars. Robinson is the lead singer of The Black Crowes and 13 years Hudson’s elder. But The Crowes did churn out the hits like “Hard To Handle” and “She Talks To Angels” on their way to selling over 20 million albums. Still these two together is a bit hard for me to handle.

kate hudson and chris robinson

5. Natalie Portman + Devendra Banhart – Uh, who??


4. Jennifer Lopez + Marc Anthony – Come on! You’re Jenny from the block. You were probably the most desirable women on the planet for two or three years strong. And this is what you settle with? Probably had something to do with some form of self punishment for the awfulness that was Gigli.

4jennifer lopez marc anthony

3. Adriana Lima + Marko Jaric – Adriana, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!? You almost get a pass because Marko is somehow an NBA player, but other than Sam Cassell or Chris Kaman, you got the bottom of the barrel — and you’re a Victoria’s Secret SUPERMODEL!!!!!! Ugh.


2. Christina Aguilera + Jordan Bratman – This one could easily be at the top spot given the massive gap in attractiveness between the scorching Aguilera and the flickering Bratman. Maybe Christina was hammered and thought she was marrying the “Bartman” instead??


1. Heidi Klum + Seal – If you need any explanation I again refer you to our previous feature: ‘This Does This – Explain It?

1heidi klum seal

Welp, there you have it. Feel free to disagree on the order, or the list, but I think we can all agree that THERE. IS. NO. WAY!!!!!!!

"HAHA! You Will Never Understand!!!"

"HAHA! You Will Never Understand!!!"

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47 Responses to “There. Is. No. Way!!! Top 13 Hot Girl With Ugly Guy Couples”

  1. Suzette Reagen March 13, 2010 at 10:34 pm #

    sorry, I don’t get it

  2. Hee Darey April 20, 2010 at 3:23 am #

    Good deal. I like her music a lot. It actually irritates me when individuals say things like since she’s Forty she shouldn’t create music anymore. Thats nonsense. Bring it J.Lo!

  3. Chelsea May 5, 2010 at 7:06 pm #

    Hmm..I think Chris Robinson is sexy. Especially in that pic. Looks like 1970 John Lennon. And whoever is with Natalie Portman is sexy also, in my opinion

  4. Blah May 12, 2010 at 7:10 pm #

    Haha, some of these guys aren’t ugly and some of these girls definitely aren’t hot.

  5. Emiliano Heredia September 5, 2010 at 2:35 am #

    devendra is king, portman is the less he can have

  6. Ryan September 16, 2010 at 12:16 pm #

    50% of those guys aren’t ugly at all. The fat guy is ugly becuz of his fat, but jay-z, seal, devendra, chris robinson, kid rock are okay or better…
    and most of the others are just old.
    though it’s a question of taste, of course ^^

  7. Gracelynn September 24, 2010 at 10:32 am #

    Hey pretty girls and gilt guys do not mix ewwwww

  8. Daniel October 22, 2010 at 8:21 am #

    Maybe they just have game and great personalities and that’s what these women are after. What is wrong with that? Stop busting their balls you jealous haters.

  9. katherineAlers December 7, 2010 at 9:10 am #

    wow Mark you are pretty ugly 4 J lo but I think you guys make a perfect match.

  10. Kevin N. March 11, 2011 at 2:42 pm #

    How can you possibly leave of the biggest of them all…Paulina Porizkova and Rick Okasek? And what the hell is Natalie Portman doing with an assembly line hipster douchebag like that ?!?!

  11. Sarah March 30, 2011 at 5:23 am #

    Who is Salman Rushdie? he wrote what is considered one of the greatest novels of the 20th century- ‘midnights children’. To me that is far more impressive than how someone looks.

  12. Tray April 15, 2011 at 8:40 am #

    That’s how most bitches roll nowadays. They are soo careful about getting the wrong guy And are obsessed with looks but they are women. They contradict themselves everywhere they go. Fucking goldigging bitches. I don’t give a shit about any of these couple but Adriana Lima fucked up pretty bad here. This guys looks like a fucking alien. Look at his face I swear my shit looks better.

  13. alex April 15, 2011 at 8:52 am #

    @sarah. are you fucking stupid bitch? he writes a book so you suck his dick? your a 2 dollar whore an just justified what “tray” said. you have no self respect and low standards. suck my dick too bitch i wrote the worlds greatest book

    @Daniel. game personality…perhaps but i think its more than that. women are fucking tricky, you dont know them enough. No body is hating its just these people are ugly as fuck and these hot ass chicks “settled” for less. Fuck that there are good looking guys out there that fit the description of the perfect guy but these bitches are fucking stupid

    Just a note to all you bitches, you walk around rating guys in your head based on appearance but you “settle” for these ugly motherfuckers. If thats the case then you should stop wasting your time and our time and just suck every guy’s dick in the world…hot or ugly cuz theres really nopoint for the masquerade. All those ugly people need love too and you just “looking” for the hot guy doesn’t help if you are gonnna fuck the ugly guy.

  14. Sam April 16, 2011 at 6:05 pm #

    Sorry but Seal is freakin hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Dirshaun April 17, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    Just goes to show, it’s now how you look, it’s how you treat them.

  16. Kimbo420 May 9, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

    All of the ugly guys are rich and famous …that s what attracted the women

  17. Strony flash June 11, 2011 at 12:08 am #

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  18. Andre August 10, 2011 at 6:33 am #

    I think Seal is pretty hot, he’s super fit and he’s much more handsome than Jay-Z. You only put him at the top of the list because of the scars, but they don’t bother me actually they give him a mystery aura which is kinda hot.

  19. SaLoo August 27, 2011 at 1:41 pm #

    I don’t think the girls are chasing the man’s wealth because they themselve are wealthy. And guy who is jealous with these ugly guy with hot girl, will just say its because they’re rich just to comfort their own self on why they are not dating these hot girls. Guys, if you got looks but still you’re not dating hot girls, you sucks man. Dont get jealous of this ugly guys.

  20. awful truth November 6, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    Money and power > the main reason. Women don’t give a crap if a guy is good looking. They always pick a monstrous douchebag over a cool dude with great personality. Tray and alex are 100% right about this.

  21. Andy November 20, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

    These girls don’t want tricky dicky handsome men. They probably have had bad experience with hot jerks, so now they prefer men who are easily predictable.

  22. Sucks January 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm #

    They pick ugly assholes over nice guys with awesome qualities, well, at least in my country. Very shameful indeed

  23. matt February 16, 2012 at 9:56 am #

    To all the young chicks wasting your time on this keep in mind we are in out 20s for just 15% of our adult lives. Your looks only carry you through a small portion of the game. Lose the arrogance and start being real for soon you will reap what you sow. Time catches up to everyone……

  24. Jon April 25, 2012 at 8:28 pm #

    Don’t waste time with futile bitches, go search another area. It is rare I know, but there are women with amazing qualities. Patience is a virtue, ya gotta have faith

  25. caca-man May 28, 2012 at 1:20 am #

    the ugly guys have money that whys

  26. rick June 11, 2012 at 12:55 pm #

    damn whores… they always complicate

  27. Logan June 22, 2012 at 7:07 pm #

    What about Nicky Whelan and DJ Ashba. She could probably have anybody she wants and she picks him. No way.

  28. David July 19, 2012 at 5:14 pm #

    All the women I’ve known, both the very attractive ones and the more homely ones, are all attracted to guys like Patrick Dempsey, Ian Somerhalder, Brad Pitt or Gerard Butler, but when you see you see the guys they date or marry, you wonder wtf?

    I don’t think women date or marry men based solely on their looks. Perhaps, they base their decisions on other factors like wealth, status, personality?

  29. holly July 31, 2012 at 1:15 am #

    shut up you jusdgemental pricks.

  30. rick September 19, 2012 at 10:43 am #

    Bitches suck. It’s almost impossible to find real women who appreciate real guyz

  31. Carl Thomas October 4, 2012 at 4:48 pm #

    These do not look like bad matches. Not beauty and the beast, by any means.

  32. Danno November 9, 2012 at 6:18 pm #

    Jesus christ dude you are dumb as fuck. You don’t know who Salman Rushdie is? Kaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki dated in real life, because he’s actually a decent looking guy. Seal is a really good looking dude with some facial scarring. Just because you haven’t heard of Devandra Banhart doesn’t mean he’s not good looking. That doesn’t even make sense.

  33. hopper January 1, 2013 at 4:56 am #

    I dont get it…. aren’t guys like Salman Rushdie ashamed to even be out in public with girls like that? I mean doesn’t he kow that everyone who see’s them together is thinking “this girl is only with him got he money”………

  34. Tom April 14, 2013 at 3:13 pm #

    Stupid whores, always playing games with me and after that… friendzoned/ getting rid of me. Guess what, don’t tease me then. And of course, you pick an ugly turd (violent and generally dumb as well) over a man 10000 times more interesting. I find it fascinating. Fuck you

  35. guy May 6, 2013 at 10:51 am #

    bitches are weirdos. always settle for less

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  39. common sense June 29, 2015 at 6:30 pm #

    Why is it that when people point out the elephant in the room that a guy obviously isn’t physically attractive is with an attractive female those said people are called “haters”. Yes true somw of them

  40. common sense June 29, 2015 at 6:40 pm #

    Comment cont……..some of them are jealous but the rest of us are just confused. Most of these men are unattractive for a reason and some of it has to do with personality and some has to do with confidence. They came up and talked to these women thats it!!!! Most times thats all it takes is courage AND most of these dudes were celebrities at some point so that helps. Plus, guys can spot phony shit and douchebag behavior a mile away cause we’ve either done it ourselves or know people who have. Women confuse cockiness and arrogance with confidence all the time. That is why the divorce rate is over 50% because men act instead of be real and women settle instead of keeping a standard.


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