Cliff here. Let me kick this off by saying you should have something better to do with your time than playing an online role-playing game. Banging hotties, plundering cities, and generally having a good time takes up most of my free time, but we’re taking baby steps with you fairies. If I had to pick one piece of wisdom to share with all the pseudo men of the world, I would tell you to be the best at whatever bit of gayishness you decide to undertake. Want to be a cage fighter? Kick every ass that dares to step into your octagon. Always wanted to rule the world? Run for President. Anything else is half-assing, and that is one thing I will not tolerate from male humans.
I have never played this World of Warcraft thing, but I know enough about it to lay down a few pointers. First and most importantly, you have to get your ACTUAL life in order. Get a job, pay your bills, and move out of your parents’ house. That should be enough to keep the real WoW nutbags busy for a while. Chances are, you haven’t seen the light of the sun since the game was released. Most importantly, if you can’t walk into a REAL bar, strike up a conversation with a REAL girl, and put your REAL genitals to work in a REAL way, you have no business hopping onto a computer to short-cut your way through life.
Basically, online role-playing games are one of the easiest ways to skip over any sort of effort and bring yourself all the awesomeness that comes with being a man. If you want to be the world’s greatest archer, get your ass off the couch and shoot something with arrows. Nobody wants to listen to some douche talking to his friends through a headset, telling them about all the goblins he’s slain, or the dragons he’s conquered. Sad. Tony Hawk has earned the right to play a badass game about skateboarding, because he can do it in real life. Tiger Woods can sit on his ass all day, playing the latest golf simulation game because his names on the damn box. He also could play a video game called “Hide the Sausage”, since he’s obviously mastered that facet of REAL life, too.
Anyway, here’s all you need to play your stupid online game:
Embark on a REAL LIFE quest. You should be in imminent danger of death the entire time, and your quest only ends when you’ve chopped the head off of an Ice Giant, or worked your way through an entire cheerleading squad. The best quests should allow time for both monster-slaying AND tickle time with a slew of ladies.
Make sure to have a badass REAL life weapon. Swords are badass if you didn’t buy one out of SkyMall, and it isn’t a replica of Gandalf’s broadsword. If your weapon is hanging on a wall unsharpened, it’s not a weapon – it’s a decoration. Women will not want to sleep with you. Period. Sharpen that bitch, and use it to chop some terrorists up when they try to destroy your city.
Wear a cape. In REAL life. You dress your stupid online characters up like they’re your own personal “action figure”, but don’t have the balls to wear that same battle armor to pick up some milk? Weak. It’s not what you wear it’s how you wear it. I guarantee when I go to a football game in full chainmail, still coated in the blood of the werewolf I just tore in two with my bare hands, nobody’s wondering what the eff I’m doing there. They’re just glad to know that there’s a man left who doesn’t run away at the first sight of a vampire (see here for vampire-slaying instructions), and the women are all trying to figure out how to get that armor off my body and onto the floor next to their bed.
If you still feel the need to play some stupid online game after slaughtering a cobrabear, feel free – you’ve earned it. Don’t keep being a little bitch-baby, though, and shoot your jollies off into a wad of toilet paper while you think about what badass things you’re going to say to the next elven princess who strolls across your computer screen. That’s just sad, and I’m disappointed that I even had to tell you. See you next week.
It seems like this college basketball season has flown by, but we are only five weeks away from Selection Sunday and the Louisville Cardinals are still in a precarious position in terms of their NCAA Tournament position. As of right now, most projections have the Cards in the tournament, but there is still a lot of basketball to be played and many teams can still play their way into the Big Dance, including Louisville.
With only eight games left to play, here is where the Cards sit, numbers wise, as of Sunday, February 7:
Overall Record – 15-8 Conference Record - 6-4 RPI – 42 Conference RPI – 2nd Strength of Schedule – 5th RPI Top 50 wins – 1 (South Florida)
Looking at those numbers, it’s a good news/bad news situation. The good news is the Cards have played a very tough schedule and have a winning record in the second best conference. Louisville’s schedule will also get much better. Outside of DePaul, all of the Cards’ remaining opponents are RPI top 90 teams, including 2nd rated Syracuse twice.
I realize simply having a difficult strength of schedule can only get you so far, but it’s a good thing for Louisville because they need quality wins. And obviously, the only way to get quality wins is to play quality teams. Louisville will get multiple chances down the stretch to make their NCAA Tournament resume.
The bad news for Louisville is clear as day, they haven’t beaten anyone. The Cards’ best win is against South Florida, who is 48th in the RPI. While Louisville does have a total of four RPI top 100 wins, all those wins are good for is maybe to be a tiebreaker when comparing resumes against another potential tournament team. If Louisville does not secure that elusive signature win down the stretch, those wins are meaningless.
And let us not forget the Cards’ home losses to Charlotte and Western Carolina. Louisville will get a bit of a break with the Charlotte game due them having played that game without Jerry Smith, Preston Knowles, and Peyton Siva; the Selection Committee has factored injuries into their process many times, but only when teams have a compelling case for being in the Tournament. So again, if Louisville does not get a top shelf win, it won’t matter.
The question is who will Louisville get that signature win against? Here’s their remaining schedule:
at St. John’s at #3/4 Syracuse vs. Notre Dame at DePaul vs. #7/8 Georgetown at Connecticut at Marquette vs. #3/4 Syracuse
I personally feel Louisville will secure two quality wins, at worst, to finish the season. I base that on the fact Louisville has played a very tough schedule and played with everyone. Whether it be Villanova, Kentucky, Pitt, or West Virginia, Louisville has shown the ability to play with, or outplay, some of the top teams in the country.
I am not going to get into the whole coulda, shoulda, woulda game, but I feel Louisville has done enough this season to prove they are more than capable of beating teams like Syracuse or Georgetown. They just have to do it.
I think by the time we reach the Big East conference tournament, Louisville will be safely in the Big Dance. I think Louisville will go 6-2 down the stretch. I believe they will beat Georgetown, then defeat Syracuse in the final home game for the Cards at historic Freedom Hall.
So rest easy Cardinal fans, our squad will indeed be dancing come March.
You probably remember this from Miss South Carolina Teen USA in the 2007 Miss Teen USA Pageant:
Well, Caitlin handled herself well after that debacle and has since been successful in her modeling career and up next for the former Miss South Carolina Teen USA is season 16 of Amazing Race, debuting on Sunday (Valentine’s Day) at 8pm EST on CBS. Lauren Caitlin Upton, Uh YUMP!!
Saints head coach Sean Payton squaded up multiple times as New Orleans defeated Indianapolis en route to their first ever Super Bowl Championship. How can you not love a man who onside kicks to start the second half? Pulaski Academy head coach Kevin Kelley would be proud.
Anyways, congrats to Drew Brees and the Saints. Now enjoy the best commercials from the Super Bowl.
It’s Super Bowl Sunday, so for once, Big Blue Nation’s sports consciousness is partially occupied by something OTHER than the ‘Cats. Even still, it’s Sunday, so it’s time to look at UK by the numbers.
UK is coming off yet another two and oh week, with wins over Ole Miss and LSU, neither of which was really in significant doubt at any point. UK stands to move up a spot this week in both the AP and Coaches Poll since #2 Villanova dropped a game. With tough tests coming up for Kansas and Syracuse, UK could soon move back into the number one spot if they keep winning.
Individual Stats
John Wall – 6.6 assists per game (2nd nationally)
1.9 steals per game (t-83rd nationally)
Patrick Patterson – 59.4% field goal shooting (t-34th nationally)
DeMarcus Cousins – 10.0 rebounds per game (24th nationally)
1.8 blocks per game (79th nationally)
RPI
UK hung in there at number six in the RPI according to RealTimeRPI.com. At one point earlier this week, after UK’s win over Ole Miss, UK moved as high as number three, but LSU is by far the worst RPI team in the SEC, which did not help the old SOS.
Ken Pomeroy
UK is at their highest ranking of the season according to Ken Pomeroy, moving up to sixth mainly on the strength of a very efficient performance against LSU.
UK was 14th in offensive efficiency last week and moved up one spot to 13th. Defense, though, is where the ‘Cats helped themselves. They allowed just 55 points to LSU in 76 possessions, their best performance on the defensive end since their beatdown of Drexel in December. UK moved up four spots to 21st in defensive efficiency.
UK is still mediocre in the turnover department (194th and 195th in the country in committing and forcing turnovers), so UK has a lot of room for improvement. However, I think we’re to the point where we can say that UK is always going to be a bit weaker in that area.
By: Stella |
February 7th, 2010 |
Category: Sports
Leading up to the Super Bowl, we have learned more than we want to know about Reggie Bush being an honorary member of the Kardashian family. We are are also learning Dwight Freeney’s every move in physical therapy. Here are some Super Bowl fun facts that you may not know, brought to you by a source that has no credibility or integrity, whatsoever.
- Colts head coach Jim Caldwell actually served as wide receivers coach at the University of Louisville in 1985. After playing for the University of Iowa in the 70s, Caldwell bounced around to several college jobs before becoming head coach at Wake Forest in 1993. With a career record of 26-63, one wonders how he kept his job for eight seasons. Now, he’s going for his second Super Bowl ring. It’s amazing how having ‘The Brain’ as your quarterback makes you look like a coaching genius.
- The only UK or UofL player participating in Sunday’s game is former Cats tight end Jacob Tamme, who has caught three passes in each of his first two seasons in the league. The former 4th-round pick snagged a career-best 21 yard catch in mop-up duty on the final week of the 2009 regular season.
- Ironically, the University of Indiana is the most well-represented local college in the Super Bowl. New Orleans boasts two Hoosiers who see significant playing time: DB Tracy Porter and WR/KR Courtney Roby. Porter was All-Big Ten his senior year, and had the interception of Brett Fav-rah at the end of regulation in the NFC title game. Roby broke the IU career record for receptions and yards before being drafted by the Titans in 2005.
Tracy Porter back in his Hoosier days.
- Saints coach Sean Payton was a quarterback at Eastern Illinois University, and actually played as a replacement player in 1987 when NFL players went on strike. Payton broke into NFL coaching in 1997 as a QB coach with the Eagles, and also worked for the Giants and Cowboys before getting the Saints job in 2006.
Sean Payton as a field general for Eastern Illinois.
- Colts WR Pierre Garcon was a sixth round draft pick last season out of Mt. Union College, which is a the closest thing to a division-III football dynasty. The Purple Raiders won a D-III title in 2006 when Garcon was a junior, and posted 110 strait regular season victories between 1994 and 2005.
- Established in 1967, the Saints franchise has an impressive resume of losing. It took two decades before the team put together a winning season, and they didn’t see a playoff win until 2000. Needless to say, this is their first Super Bowl appearance.
When the SEC’s best team (by a long way) and the SEC’s worst team (by a longer way) face off, you assume that a beat down will be in order. UK did not disappoint in easily dispatching LSU 81-55.
The ‘Cats sputtered a bit at the start, struggling to score and falling behind 6-1. The rest of the half, though, UK outscored the Tigers 41-8, dominating in pretty much every way. DeMarcus Cousins led the charge, nearly going for his sixth consecutive double-double in 11 first half minutes with 15 points and 9 rebounds. Cousins finished with 19 and 13.
The Tigers had no answer on the interior for Cousins, and really no answers anywhere else either. UK stifled Trent Johnson’s offensively challenged bunch, allowing only six made field goals in 32 attempts, shooting over 53% themselves.
The Tigers attack centers on forward Tasmin Mitchell and Bo Spencer, two guys who no doubt are contenders for the Chris Rix Lifetime Achievement Award. Mitchell is among the best players in the SEC, but he was shackled all game by Patrick Patterson, scoring just 10 points on 4-15 shooting. Patrick Patterson has been a stellar defensive player throughout his time at Kentucky. However, he’s taking it an all new level this year. Against Vandy, he completely took Jeff Taylor, a versatile swing man, out of the action. Today, it was a versatile forward who was victimized by him. As much money as Patterson is making himself by expanding his offensive game, his defense something scouts have got to love.
On offense, Patterson was as involved as he has been since very early in the year. He was a go to guy in the post, getting multiple touches and converting a bunch on the way to 16 points.
Outside of Cousins and Patterson, it was a balanced effort by the ‘Cats. Eric Bledsoe and John Wall were relatively quiet, scoring 10 points and 6 points respectively. I don’t think, though, we need to be worried about John Wall being frustrated after this one. There was really no need for him to do anything but run the offense, because LSU was so overmatched.
However, Wall wasn’t completely quiet. He was a part of back to back to back plays by him, Cousins, and Bledsoe that are sure to be seen on SportsCenter tonight. Cuz started it by flying through the lane to gather a Patterson miss and put it in the basket all in one motion. Then, Cousins missed a short fadeaway that Bledsoe flushed home with two hands. Finally, John Wall was one on one in the open court with Bo Spencer. To get around him, Wall seamlessly put the ball behind his back and finished an easy layup.
I mentioned earlier that Bo Spencer is one of LSU’s go to guys. The fact that he is one of LSU’s top two offensive options is proof positive that the Bayou Bengals are terrible. If you look at the points column, you’ll notice that he scored 25 points, which looks pretty good. However, it took him 24 shots (12 from three point range) and 38 minutes to get there. Unfortunately for Spencer, that’s an above average shooting night for him. He’s hitting just over 33% on the year from the field. The ‘Cats played good defense on him, but were wise to allow him to shoot when he wanted to.
John Calipari got solid play out of his bench again today, led by Daniel Orton and DeAndre Liggins. Orton played 15 solid minutes scoring 5 points and grabbing 5 rebounds. In a trend that has developed in the past couple weeks, Orton played the majority of his minutes in the first half. I’m not sure of the reason, but Cal went with other options most of the second half.
I haven’t yet heard any post game comments from John Calipari, but I can guarantee you that he singles Liggins out for praise. Ever since coming back from his unspoken suspension, Liggins has been an Energizer Bunny on defense. He harrasses whomever he’s assigned to guard and attacks on the boards. In recent games though, Liggins has become a major factor on offense as well. He drives when the lane is there, doesn’t make mistakes, and has been money from deep. He had 7 points and 8 rebounds and played more minutes (18) than any of UK’s other wing options, even though Darnell Dodson has earned a starting job.
Boosted by DeAndre Liggins, UK most dominant aspect of this game may have been rebounding. UK seemed to grab every board, outrebounding the Tigers 53-31. In fact, LSU had just three more defensive rebounds (21) than UK had offensive (18).
UK was outscored 41-39 in the second half today, but I wouldn’t so much call this another one of UK’s patented letdowns. LSU never put together a sustained run even though they were much more effective. UK was in control the entire game and took care of business against a much weaker opponent.
Brandon Knight, a senior at Pine Crest (FL) High School, had the opportunity to showcase why he is the No. 1 recruit in the nation last night on ESPN2 and he took full advantage as he went off for 48 points. He is an exceptional scoring point guard who has the ability to get in the lane, pull up from mid-range and shoot it from deep. He also is a great distributor of the basketball who is willing to throw his body around, as he averages two charges per game.
He is done making visits and is not expected to make his college decision until Pine Crest finishes their season.
The Wildcats go on the road on Saturday to face the LSU Tigers who have yet to win a game in league play. The Tigers are a long way away from where they were last season, when they ended any chance of Kentucky making the NCAA Tournament by defeating them in the second round of the SEC tournament.
They lost Marcus Thornton, Garrett Temple, and Chris Johnson from last year’s SEC Championship team and Trent Johnson was left with Tasmin Mitchell and a bunch of underclassmen. Needless to say the Tigers are struggling as they enter the UK game with only nine wins on the season. They have also lost ten strait regular-season conference games.
Of their eight league losses, only two have been by five points or less, including their loss on Thursday night to Tennessee, 59-54. In league play they are being outscored by an average of 12 points-per-game, shooting only 38-percent from the field and 24-percent from deep, and have only 80 assists to 104 turnovers.
Everything they do revolves around the play of senior Tasmin Mitchell. The 6′9″ forward, who seems like he has been at LSU forever, leads the team in scoring and rebounding with 17.6 points and 9.9 rebounds. He has ten double-doubles on the season and has scored in double figures in all but three games. Four of his double-doubles have come in the last five games.
Mitchell has a combo-forward skill set and is a very efficient scorer, shooting 47-percent from the field. Last season, when he was surrounded by help, he shot 52-percent from two and 53-percent from deep. He has a good frame, solid quickness and over the last couple of seasons has developed a face-up game. The senior can score the basketball in multiple ways, but is most comfortable operating from the post with turnaround jumpers and slashes to the basket. He has the ability to pull up and shoot from mid-range as well.
The problem hasn’t been Mitchell, it has been finding someone to step up and give him some help. The Tigers only have two other players averaging double figures in Bo Spencer, at 15.0, and Storm Warren, at 12.4. Their next leading scorer is Dennis Harris, who averages an unimpressive 4.3 points-per-game. It’s hard to win basketball games in the SEC when you have only three legitimate scoring threats.
One of the reasons why the Tigers competed with the Vols on Thursday was the play of the 6′1″ junior guard Spencer. He finished the game with 25 points and connected on four three-pointers. However, it did take him 19 shots to put up 25 points. Before his outburst against Tennessee he was struggling, scoring in double figures only twice in five games, shooting 18-for-63 during the span.
Jacking it up from three-point range is nothing new for Spencer as he has put up 144 shots from deep this season. Despite his propensity to throw it up, he is shooting only 29-percent from beyond the arc.
Warren, a 6′7″, 220-pound sophomore, started off the season with a jolt of energy. He scored in double figures in each of the first ten games, while also recording seven double-doubles. It has been a different story in league play as he has scored in double figures only three times and has recorded only one double-digit rebounding game. In his last two games he has seven points and four rebounds combined.
He does most of his damage underneath and has an impressive shooting percentage at 56-percent. He is also averaging 7.7 rebounds on the season.
Not to be too blunt about it, but the Tigers have less than a 2-percent chance of upsetting the #3 Wildcats on Saturday. They lack the shooting, the depth and the size underneath necessary to compete.
As a side note, remember when the ‘Cats and Stevie Johnson upset the #1 LSU Tigers at Commonwealth. It makes me smile.
Cliff here. Let me kick this off by saying you should have something better to do with your time than playing an online role-playing game. Banging hotties, plundering cities, and generally having a good time takes up most of my free time, but we’re taking baby steps with you fairies. If I had to pick one piece of wisdom to share with all the pseudo men of the world, I would tell you to be the best at whatever bit of gayishness you decide to undertake. Want to be a cage fighter? Kick every ass that dares to step into your octagon. Always wanted to rule the world? Run for President. Anything else is half-assing, and that is one thing I will not tolerate from male humans.
